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43 things to teach at school, gift giving idea
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43 things to teach at school, gift giving idea

I turn 43 and reflect on things they don't teach at school. I argue that hand-made gifts and experiences are cheap, more sustainable and more rewarding. Also, ESG and HIV stigma.

Benjamin Yeoh
Dec 5, 2021
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I turned 43 and feel enormously blessed, outpacing the dreams of 18 year old me. 

Nassim Taleb has suggested the true test of success is whether the young version of yourself would be happy and proud of your achievements. I am thankful that I think that’s the case. 

"For I have a single definition of success: you look in the mirror every evening, and wonder if you disappoint the person you were at 18, right before the age when people start getting corrupted by life. Let him or her be the only judge; not your reputation" (Taleb)

This week:

  • 43 Things they should teach more at school 

  • Gift giving

  • ESG/Stewardship report from UK’s FRC

  • HIV awareness: HIV is, in rich countries, undetectable and untransmissable

Links:

This letter has two main ideas this week. On gift-giving, and a list-poem-thought now I am 43, on what we should learn. 

43 Things they should teach more at school 

  1. What is the colour of love 

  2. What is the sound of friendship, how it echoes, breaks and chimes over years 

  3. How to be curious, open-minded and have the strength but flexibility of bamboo blowing in the wind

  4. To touch 

  5. What investing means and how to manage a budget 

  6. How to write to a politician, a CEO, a lover, and on the death of your mother/father 

  7. How to roast a chicken, steam a fish and cook mushroom risotto 

  8. How to unblock a sink, repair a washing machine, iron shirts 

  9. How to change a nappy, burp a baby, function on little sleep

  10. Meditate 

  11. Be happy in your body 

  12. Interview people 

  13. Meaningful conversation with strangers

  14. Travel well

  15. How to inspire people to be the best version of themselves 

  16. How to know when is enough 

  17. How insurance works 

  18. Persistence, stamina, grit; grace under pressure

  19. How to assess and choose  good friends, good team mates, good people

  20. Be a good friend

  21. Make the most of a dinner party

  22. How to listen 

  23. How to negotiate

  24. How to manage time, schedules

  25. How to work in flow

  26. How to be sad and not let it destroy you; also death and grief

  27. Empathy; what thinking through the lens of disability and other minorities can show

  28. How to spot scammers

  29. How to speak to an audience 

  30. How to change a tyre

  31. How to de-escalate tension with words and empathy

  32. How to start a business 

  33. How to find purpose; also how to do what you love, or love what you do

  34. How to understand culture; also bias

  35. How to sew, darn, and knit a scarf; also a good mix tape/list 

  36. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should 

  37. When to stand, when to pivot, when to let go

  38. How to be a mentor, how to find a mentor 

  39. Methods to manage email

  40. Running an UnConference, citizens assembly and other participatory events; or a good party. 

  41. Resist peer pressure, especially drink and similar

  42. Learning to learn, and the difference between testing for an exam and learning for life

  43. How to think for yourself; critical but humble, open-minded but principled

Happy if you have more ideas here. Let me know.


Gift Giving. I’ve written about this every year for a few years now. In rich countries, holiday season gift giving (and I say holiday as Christmas giving has transferred to Chanukah and other festivals to become a culture in itself) has become over the top. Degrowth advocates can certainly point to much of this as wasteful excess. Strict economists further note that the dollar value of gifts given are rated at significant discounts by receivers of gift. A 100 dollar gift is often rated only between 50 to 70% or less by the receiver. (The Deadweight of Christmas)

However, we know that we value experiences over items. This is because experiences linger in the memory. We value uniqueness. 

This year, I am going to add - take someone on a walk that this is special to you either in terms of memory and place or in terms of something you like about the walk and spend time walking together.

Time + Unique + You = Priceless  a gift of time and attention and thought.

Poetry/Writing: Write them a poem. Write them out your favourite poem. Record a video or audio of you reading a poem (or short story) to your loved one.

Even for the young child who has everything, they won't have a video of you reading their favourite book.

Write a letter about a time together or why they are important to you.

Recipes: Collect recipes from friends and write them in a book. A short story about their importance is a welcome touch.

If you take the time to create/make/cook some thing, this has “positive value” both economically and socially.  There are many items in the read/eat/drink category that most people enjoy.    

Cook some thing, make a cake; confit a duck leg (recipe here, keeps for 6 months);  order some green coffee beans, roast them yourself for a coffee lover, present them with roasted beans (worth over 10x the green bean value plus 30 minutes or so roasting time, I’ve done it in a pan similar to this).  You can brew your own gin, make ginger beer or lemonade.     

You can make simple jewellery. With a little more time you could learn to knit or sew to actually make a garment, though I appreciate that is probably above what can be easily achieved.    

You can make them a mix tape / CD / online mix -- with personal commentary.  The mix tape was a teenage rite of love in decades past.

Busy parents might appreciate a "voucher" for baby sitting time offered by the gifter. We value experiences more than objects when it comes to happiness.

One final note, for those who mostly have what they want. A charitable donation to the receivers’ favourite charities - most countries, you gain some tax back, could also be a positive return.


On my podcast a few weeks back I spoke with Meaghan Kall. While we spoke a lot about COVID we also discussed HIV. In rich countries, HIV is now a manageable infection and if you are HIV positive you can live a normal lifespan, with undetectable virus levels and no risk of transmission.

Mark Ravenhill recently wrote on how we still have HIV stigma. So if you don’t know about how medicine has mostly defeated HIV (it’s now a social determinant problem more than a science problem). You should find out!

Twitter avatar for @MarkRavenhill2Mark Ravenhill @MarkRavenhill2
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December 4th 2021

64 Retweets397 Likes

Latest from UK’s FRC on Stewardship reporting:

Financial Reporting Council (FRC) on effective stewardship reporting: "The UK Stewardship Code rightly sets a high standard for investor stewardship. At the same time, the FRC recognises that signatories will have different approaches to fulfilling their responsibilities. The purpose of stewardship reporting is for investors to demonstrate how they are protecting the hard-earned pensions and savings entrusted to them, by ensuring that they are managed responsibly, creating long-term value for their clients and beneficiaries.”

Report here.


In theatre world, sadly after Sondheim.

Twitter avatar for @deldridgewriterDavid Eldridge 💙 @deldridgewriter
Sleep well darling Robert, thank you for being my friend ❤️💔❤️ Robert Holman 25 August 1952 - 3 December 2021 “Love is paying attention”
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December 4th 2021

14 Retweets140 Likes

UK Theatre offer:

Twitter avatar for @benyeohbenBenjamin Yeoh @benyeohben
Excellent offer for marginalised performance artists and theatre makers from @CamdenPT for seed commissions in 2022.

December 3rd 2021

Slow fashion and old Chinese crafts

Twitter avatar for @benyeohbenBenjamin Yeoh @benyeohben
Slow fashion and old Chinese crafts making
Angel Chang on Building Resilience Through Centuries-Old Crafts - Time SensitiveNew York–based fashion designer Angel Chang talks about convincing clothing brands to preserve traditional garment-making techniques; the prolonged, enlightening process of befriending Chinese artisans; harnessing wit and WeChat to build supply chains for her collection in rural China; and why indig…timesensitive.fm

December 3rd 2021

1 Retweet

My friend Hana’s critique on street votes

Twitter avatar for @hanaloftusHana Loftus @hanaloftus
Couldn't resist, wrote a blog about street votes. Shoot me now...
Street Votes - what’s the big idea?Everyone in the planning and architecture world has been trying to desperately get some insight into the approach that new Secretary of Stat...virtualhana.blogspot.com

December 1st 2021

1 Retweet

UK CCC onUK climate post COP26

Twitter avatar for @benyeohbenBenjamin Yeoh @benyeohben
Useful insights 🧵 from Chris and CCC team, @ChiefExecCCC “UK efforts should focus on strengthening delivery of the Net Zero Strategy, rather than inflating the gap between ambition and implementation. “

Chris Stark @ChiefExecCCC

Here's our assessment of #COP26 and the Glasgow Climate Pact. https://t.co/epplRlYuSE We've taken a global outlook and considered the implications for the UK. After Glasgow, there are important new considerations for UK climate policy. The UK must not walk away now. @theCCCuk

December 2nd 2021

2 Likes

Extremes… from the defense of Elizabeth Holmes:

Twitter avatar for @benyeohbenBenjamin Yeoh @benyeohben
Unsure about the truth but a tragic quality about these notes; tragic, poignant, comic: “…change, shower,shave, perfect…” https://t.co/RmabojAZZ1

Internal Tech Emails @TechEmails

Elizabeth Holmes's daily schedule Circa 2005–2009 https://t.co/hhWUBHhpbe

December 2nd 2021

Shrigley’s Tennis balls. Worth a visit

Twitter avatar for @SpittingyarnAnoushka @Spittingyarn
Popped to see David Shrigley’s “Mayfair Tennis Ball Exchange”. Best thing I have seen all year. 12,000+ tennis balls, originally pristine, but evolving over time into a more motley assortment as visitors exchange out the balls. Bring a ball to take a ball.
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November 30th 2021

1 Retweet

Drugs and homelessness in SF.

Twitter avatar for @benyeohbenBenjamin Yeoh @benyeohben
Compelling sad story. People living on the margins. I have little idea of life like this. And no idea how it’s made better. Still a story worth knowing | Laurie already lost one child to a drug overdose. Can she save another?
She set out to save her daughter from fentanyl. She had no idea what she would face on the streets of San FranciscoLaurie already lost one child to a drug overdose. Can she save another?sfchronicle.com

December 4th 2021

Profile on Tony Kushner

Twitter avatar for @benyeohbenBenjamin Yeoh @benyeohben
““Dare to participate in the great historical mistake of your time.” ,
Tony Kushner, Oracle of the Upper West SideThe playwright recites a joke about gefilte fish.nytimes.com

November 30th 2021

1 Like

Protect the weak

Twitter avatar for @benyeohbenBenjamin Yeoh @benyeohben
“…The main trait in civilized society is to protect the weak…”

Nassim Nicholas Taleb @nntaleb

Added the *ergodic* argument: "Why is it so difficult to grasp that by killing seniors, you reduce your own life expectancy ?" https://t.co/l6UU6ncygR

November 29th 2021

2 Likes

Archive of my livestream

Twitter avatar for @theatredeliTheatre Deli London @theatredeli
It was great to welcome @benyeohben to the stage last week! Catch a subtitled recording of the Thinking Bigly: How We Die livestream, available on our website until 3rd December:
bit.ly/3FyrW68

Benjamin Yeoh @benyeohben

Thanks so much to @daveralf and Mags and @theatredeli for making my show: How We Die, such a success. It will be coming back in 2022… https://t.co/l9thDJSpte

November 30th 2021

1 Retweet2 Likes


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